Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Craving Resurrection

Book Review of Craving Resurrection (The Aces Series)

Title: Craving Resurrection

Series: The Aces Series

Author: Nicole Jacquelyn

Date Published: January 26th 2015

Date Read:   November 2, 2015

The Blurb:

Poet and Amy's story...

Patrick Gallagher’s future was mapped out—and it didn’t include Amy Henderson or the IRA.

She was everything he’d never wanted. Too young. Too naïve.

Unfortunately, he couldn’t help but be fascinated by the girl who took refuge in his old bedroom, staying with his mum more often than not.

She looked like a Renaissance painting and argued like a solicitor. He couldn’t resist her, and before long, he didn’t even want to.

Instead, he loved her unreservedly… then he married her.

But he couldn’t have prepared for what happened after.

Actions, no matter how large or how small, have consequences—and when the IRA comes knocking, he’s sucked into a life that he’d never anticipated.

Choices were made.

Hearts were broken.

Trust was shattered.

Lives were lost.

Through it all, he loved her.

It was a love that spanned decades.

My Review

      3 The Saddest Damn Story Stars

*Spoilers here, Spoilers there, Spoilers 

everywhere in this review*

“I was so stupid. So fucking naïve.” “Don’t say dat. Yer not stupid. Ye were never stupid.” “I made comments about your experience,” I spoke over him, “I pushed you because I was angry, and the entire time you were fucking other people. No wonder you didn’t mind waiting until we were married.” “Dat’s not how it was.” “So fucking stupid.” I shook my head, scrubbing my hands over my face. “It was one night. One night. Dat’s all. I was pissed—” “You’re really going to use the drunk excuse right now? Really, Patrick?” “I wasn’t in me right mind—” I gripped the arms of the chair, but he was off the couch and kneeling in front of me before I could push myself to my feet. “Please, Amy. Please, listen.”-Amy and Poet

Holy Shit this has to be, hands down the saddest, most depressing damn book I have ever read to date, and still good enough to get a 3 star review. I am all over the place on how I feel about this story. I had to sleep on it before I could even start this review, because one minute I wanted to give it a 5 stars and the next I wanted to give it a 1 Star. I am going to try to explain my feeling on this book clearly, but I have a feeling there will be ranting, rambling, and tons of spoilers so yeah.... Okay so for starters, I went into this book with a knot in my stomach. I read some of the reviews and my heart just sank. I knew this was going to be a hard read for me because cheating is a trigger for me, and with OCD once I start a book or a series, I just can't stop no matter how miserable it makes me. I expected to hate Poet with a passion as hot as the fires of hell, and at first I did, but he wasn't as bad as I anticipated. Don't get me wrong I sure didn't like Poet. I think Poet is a huge asshole. He made 2 huge mistakes ( I will go over those later), but I'm not sure I would call him a cheater. 

I sat alone in the silent house for a long time after I got back. I’d fucked up so badly that I knew any chance of righting my life was completely gone. I’d never again step foot in my own country, I had little money to start a new life, and both my mother and my wife hated me. I couldn’t blame Amy for her anger. One poor decision, one mistake, and I’d broken all trust between us. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t yet made any promises to each other. I’d known the morning after my night with Moira that I’d made a horrible mistake, but it had been too late then to right it.-Poet

“You worthless piece of shit,” he hissed, spit from his mouth hitting my face as I tried to pry his fingers from my throat. “You fuckin’ left her there!” I could hear men yelling as they caught sight of us, but all of my attention was focused on Doc’s mouth and the words flying out so fast I had a hard time keeping up. “You left her to be fuckin’ tortured. You left her to be raped. Then you come back here and run your mouth about her? That poor girl that never done anything wrong but make the mistake of loving a worthless piece of trash like you?” -Doc

Now I feel like his "Cheating" would fall into a gray area. See when he slept with Moira(who I hate and think is a triflin' whore) He had only kissed Amy. They weren't even dating. He only slept with Moira one night, and then when he went back home. Where he asked Amy to marry him. The 2 huge mistakes I think he made are that 1st he slept with Moira, and 2nd He left Amy in Ireland to follow him in a week. Okay see this is what happened.

“I’m so sorry—” he started quietly. “Don’t. Don’t, Patrick,” I ordered cutting him off. “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I love ye—” “Go back to your family.” I looked at him then, the handsome boy that had turned into a man almost overnight. “We both have new lives, let’s just leave it at that, okay?”-Poet and Amy

“Ye did not come from me body,” Patrick said fiercely, staring into Nix’s overflowing eyes and cupping his face so gently their skin was barely touching. “But ye are me son. And ye are exactly as God made ye. Dere is not one t’ing wrong wit’ ye, Phoenix Robert Gallagher, and I’ll kill any man who says ot'erwise.”-Poet

Amy meets Poet's mom Peg, walking home from school. Peg is great btw, and becomes like a mom to Amy, because Amy's parents are worthless. That's how Poet meets Amy. He finds her sleeping in his bed, on one of his visits home from college. He ends up kissing Amy right before he goes back to school. They aren't dating, but he makes hints that he wants more. Then when he get back to school while drunk off his ass, he sleeps with Moira. Then the next morning he regrets it. He also gets a call from his mom the next moring that something is wrong with Amy, so he rushes home. Amy's parents kicked her out so Amy moves in with Peg. Poet stays for a little while and him and Amy get serious. He ask her to marry him. Now from this point he is faithful to her the whole time they are together as a couple.(I'll explain that in a minute since they never divorce) One day months after they are married Moira's skanky ass shows up pregnant and beat up. Poet and Amy had planned on go to America together to get away from the IRA that was using Poet as a hit man and killed his father, so they had two spots on a boat to America. Amy being rightfully pissed tells Poet to take Moira to America. Now Poet wants to stay with Amy, but she is so mad she keeps telling him to go. I can understand Poet feeling torn at this point because , he didn't wanna leave his wife, but he wanted to protect his unborn child. So they make plans that him and Moira with some of the Aces will go to America, and the next boat that leaves in a week with bring Amy and his mom Peg. When he leaves, him and Amy have talked and plan on working things out. When Poet leaves with Moira the tramp, her fiance Malcolm a evil member of the IRA kidnaps Amy, shaves her hair off, breaks all of her fingers one at a time with a hammer, and then rapes her to pay Poet back for taking his woman. Now Amy is messed up, and pissed at Poet she blames him for everything. so instead of getting on the boat and meeting up with him like planned she and Peg get a plane to America and don't tell him where they are going. So he doesn't see his wife again for 4 months, when his mom finally lets him see her because she hasn't spoken a word since she left Ireland. So when Poet sees her, Amy instead of telling him she has been raped, just says she is pregnant, and the kids isn't his. Nothing else so of course if thinks she slept with someone as payback. Spits in her face and leaves. Now here is another gray area because even though they are still married he left her. Says she is dead to him and starts a life with Moira. Which pisses me the fuck off, but I'm not sure if it's cheating or they are broke up kinda. Any how, right after the birth of both their kids he finds out that she was raped and he runs back to her begging for another chance she tells him no go home to Moira and raise your daughter. So he does. A few more times through the years he would show up wanting her back and she would turn him away. Because she was angry and bitter which I totally understand.

“I love her,” I told him simply. “You may love her.” He moved his mouth around a bit as if he was looking for the right words to say. “I get it, man. I do. But every time you play your hand, she’s a mess afterwards. For months. It never works the way you want it to, and it never gets any easier—for you or for her. So why can’t you just let it go?” I ran my hand down my beard, scratching my jaw as I tried to explain to Nix something he would never understand until he’d met the love of his life. “I’m incomplete wit’out her—” I stopped, shaking my head. “As long as I live, I’ll never give up. I can’t.” “I think you have to,” Nix said softly. “It will never happen.”-Poet and Nix

“I know that it wasn’t your fault, but God, Patrick, you weren’t blameless, either. But all these years, I knew what happened and you didn’t. You got to move blissfully along with your life, making a family with Moira and raising your daughter… and I was just stuck. I resented you so much for that, for leaving me and spending your life with the woman who was the reason I was ruined.”-Amy

Damn that was a mouth full. Okay so here is my feeling on all that. I loved Amy. Thought she was brave, strong and just awesome. I understood where she was coming from. I am bitter over it all and I'm just the reader. But I don't feel like Poet Cheated the whole time they are apart because I feel like they broke up. She dated and slept with other men while they are apart too. The thing that bugged me the most was that he made a life with Moira. I truly hated that slut and was glad she died. See because he slept with Moira before they where dating I could have, as a read, forgiven him and gave him a second chance. But it drove me crazy that he was playing house with that home-wrecking tramp after what their sleeping together costed Amy. I know it makes me mean but I was not only glad that Moira died but I was glad that Amy ripped into Poet and laughed a little at the guilt and pain he felt, but he did "a little" redeem himself. The way he treated Amy's son Nix so well. I loved Doc. I was so glad when he told Poet off. I was indifferent of their relationship. I didn't care if they made up are not. But I will say this, the story was still an okay, but damn depressing read and I truly couldn't put it down. 

I heaved and heaved until nothing was left, and then I heaved some more, tears rolling down my cheeks. I’d been so confident when I’d left Ireland, so unbelievably arrogant in my assumption that my sins wouldn’t catch up to us. I’d assumed that we’d be safe, never imagining that in the few days between our departures, Amy would be the one paying for my mistakes… I hated myself for that. The details of Amy’s attack and the memory of Malcolm’s large frame in comparison to her small one made me livid, and before I was even done vomiting, I was tearing apart the room.-Poet

“I hadn’t known,” I mumbled, shaking my head. “Moira never said shite about Malcolm, not one fuckin’ word. All dese years and I hadn’t known dat he’d done dat to Amy because of me. He fuckin’ tortured her, Charlie.”-Poet

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